This week something happened that reminded me of an old habit I’ve had for years.

That reflex to emotionally carry someone else’s discomfort.

Someone I care about was having a hard moment and even though it wasn’t mine to carry, I could feel how easily my old self would have taken it on.
Trying to fix it. Feel it for them. Even suffer a little, together.
As if my own peace depended on someone else feeling okay.

It’s something I see a lot in people who feel deeply, especially those of us who are sensitive, caring and naturally tuned into others.

But there’s a big difference between supporting someone and emotionally carrying what isn’t yours.

If this touches something in you, here’s a journal prompt to explore:

“What have I been emotionally carrying that doesn’t actually belong to me?”

And if something comes up, ask yourself: 

“How can I lovingly hand it back?”

You don’t need pages of insight. Even one honest sentence or a quiet moment with this question can bring clarity and lightness.

Here are a few things that help me stay connected, without taking it all on:

• Stay grounded in your own body. Feel your feet on the floor as you listen.
• Listen without trying to fix. Acknowledge their feelings and ask helpful questions, such as: “What do you need right now?”
• Visualize your energy like being inside a soft, protective bubble.
• If you do absorb their emotions, let them move through you without holding on.  Simply spend a moment alone (even if it’s in the bathroom), shake your body, yawn, sigh or rinse your hands under cold water and imagine it washing away.

And here’s one sentence that can shift everything when you feel emotionally pulled:

“Whose is this?”

You’ll often feel right away that it’s not yours.

Then quietly add: “Return to sender, with love :) ”

You’re allowed to feel calm, even when someone else is having a hard day.

That’s not selfish. That’s having healthy boundaries. 

And it helps them more than you might think.

Because the peace in you gives space to them.